Broken News

The Bush administration has released information revealing that it has been conducting an ongoing investigation of terror related activities by probing into the personal bank accounts, telephone records and internet activities of Democrats throughout the United States. A massive effort has been underway for over two years, utilizing the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), National Security Agency (NSA), Defense Intelligence Angency (DIA), National Reconnaissance Office (NRO), National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency (formerly NIMA), Interpol, KGB, The Young Marines, Boy Scouts of America, Ann Coulter Fan Club and most viewers of Fox News. The resultant database is said to be the largest on the planet, literally visible from outerspace.

Attorney General, Alberto Gonzoles, when asked why only Democrats are being targeted for this massive investigation, explained that it is common knowledge that Conservatives are patriotic while Democrats are cheer-leaders for Osama bin Laden.

Congressional Democrats are outraged and speaking out about the administration's questionably legal undertaking. Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) addressed the issue while on a speaking tour of the mid-west where she is not campaigning for the presidency. "I believe that Presiden Bush is acting in good faith and for the security of all Americans (except those here illegally) and I support him in this effort however, I believe he is handling the program all wrong. He should have leveled with Americans about the danger they are in and the need for this action. The fact that the investigation excludes everyone but Democrats does worry me a bit. He should at least include Republicans making less than $150,000 per year. As President, that is what I would have done".

Senator John Kerry (D-MA) was in Washington, D.C. where he attacked the administration for its secrecy and lack of transparency. Said Kerry, "This President continues to hide behind a smoke-screen to shroud his activities from the public". Asked if he will take action in the Senate over the President's program, he responded. "His tactics, though dispicable, are not overtly illegal as far as I can tell so I will not demand that the administration cease and desist".

Another high profile Senate Democrat was reached for comment. Senator Joseph Lieberman (D-CT) said of the investigation, "President Bush is an honest and decent man with the best interests of all citizens foremost in his thoughts and efforts. We need to support this program as it is part of the ongoing war on terrorism and producing essential information required to deter the enemy from striking us again here at home". Lieberman added "The President would not do this if it were not absolutly necessary for our security. He assured me of this during our embrace at the State of the Union Address earlier this year".

Due to the recent Republican policy change forbidding the press from being told the whereabouts of any Republican member of Congress when detremental information is discovered about the Bush administration, no one could be immediately reached for comment. Once the Republican talking points had been decided upon, John Boehner (R-OH) issued the following statement. "Who cares what those whiny Democrats are saying, I'm boffing Ann Coulter".

Hate Speech

On June 6th, 2006, we were treated to yet another helping of demented spiteful bile spewed from the bottomless pit of verbal diareha that is Ann Coulter.

However, Coulter may have inadvertently assisted in overcoming the chasm between Left and Right ideologies created by Bush’s divisiveness. In her latest book, “Godless, the Church of Liberalism”, Coulter viciously attacks the widows of the 9/11 victims. "These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' death so much."

Many on the Right, politicians, Bloggers, Pundits, etc. have spoken out against Coulter’s comments for having crossed the line or being cruel and vicious or for going beyond the bounds of human decency.

Interestingly, this is not even close to the first time one of Coulter’s screed have gone beyond the bounds of human decency nor is this her vilest utterance. In fact, Coulter has devised a career out of producing insidious, racist, hateful commentary that could not have existed in this country a mere 15 years ago. Here are a few samples of her work:

 Which brings me to this week's scandal about No Such Agency spying on "Americans." I have difficulty ginning up much interest in this story inasmuch as I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East, and sending liberals to Guantanamo.

 "Oh, it was so much fun this year, because saying 'Merry Christmas' is like saying 'Fuck you!' I've said it to everyone. You know, cab drivers, passing people on the street, whatever."

 “Oh, how I hate them! And, oh how I hate the waiting….Tomorrow we take revenge”

 I, for one, bolted past indifference straight into loathing long ago”

 “We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate Liberals, by making them realize they can be killed, too. Otherwise they will turn out to be outright traitors."”

 “Both [Al Gore and Gray Davis] were veterans, after a fashion, of Viet Nam, which would make a Gore/Davis Presidential ticket the only compelling argument yet in favor of friendly fire”

 "...a cruise missile is more important than Head Start."

 "Women like Pamela Harriman and Patricia Duff are basically Anna Nicole Smith from the waist down. Let's just call it for what it is. They're whores."

 The swing voters? I like to refer to them as the idiot voters because they don't have set philosophical principles. You're either a liberal or you're a conservative if you have an IQ above a toaster"

 "[Clinton] masturbates in the sinks"

 To a disabled Vietnam vet: "People like you caused us to lose that war."

 "My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism."

 "liberals are always against America. They are either traitors or idiots..."

 "I think we ought to nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning."

 "Press passes can't be that hard to come by if the White House allows that old Arab Helen Thomas to sit within yards of the President."

 "My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times building."

 "Frankly, I'm not a big fan of the First Amendment."

 "We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee."


So, it would seem that the accumulation of hateful, bigoted, violent intolerance advocated for years by Ms. Coulter has reached a limit many on the Right refuse to go beyond. Good! Perhaps they will reconsider supporting her earlier comments and insults and begin to see her for the mentally disturbed poster child for Bi-polar disease that she actually is.